Ah, if I could hear Your voice
Just one more time, if I had a choice,
I'd ask to hear You sing.
Oh, to hear the Majesty
atop, even, the tallest tree!
I'd just awe, listening.
But I see You remain silent.
So I'll wait in the quiet.
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That's all I have of this song. I don't think there's anymore to it... not sure. I just wrote it a week and a half ago. When I say these words in private with God, they make me cry, though I'm well-aware that they might be absolutely frivolous to someone else. :)
I heard Him once. It was while I was at Judson. I was asleep, and I awoke so my dad calling my name. I ran to the doorway and said, "What?"
My dad was awake downstairs, and he said he didn't call me.
I went back to bed because it was well before time to get up.
I woke up to my name being called. It was my dad, so I went to the doorway and hollered back. I actually had to call twice because he was listening to the radio pretty loudly. He said he hadn't called me.
I went back to bed. My heart was racing, because it felt strange to be awaken by a pretend thing... I thought that maybe I was dreaming about him calling me or something. I couldn't fall back asleep, and I heard it one last time. I stood at the edge of the stairs, know my dad would call again if he did in the first place... He hadn't been the one who audibly said my name.
That day at Judson, in chapel, there was a guest performer. I don't have any idea who he was. He played the piano for us and sang some original songs. I remember I was sitting next to Matt in the balcony with his friends... I remember hating sitting up there...
And the man started the first of his songs whispering into the microphone, "Samuel...
"Samuel."
He played a little and said it again.
I remembered suddenly the strange events of the morning, and I wept.
That evening of the strange morning and the chapel guest, I told Matt how I had woken up. I don't know if I've ever told anyone else the entire story, this being one third of it, but I had a chance to hear God's voice, and I'm convinced of it. I just wish I knew what was happening at the time.
Now I would give anything to hear it again. I will hear it again. I just don't know when.
Sometimes I wonder what it means when the Bible says He sings over us. Did you ever wonder that? This song was formed out of a desire to hear Him again, and the curiosity of what it sounds like when He sings over us.
"Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight!"
Reading what I wrote, the correlation seems so obvious with Samuel's experience, but at the time, I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I wish I had figured it out, because I did NOT respond like Eli instructed Samuel to...
ReplyDelete1 Samuel 3
The LORD Calls Samuel
1 The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions.
2 One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the house of the LORD, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the LORD called Samuel.
Samuel answered, “Here I am.” 5 And he ran to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”
But Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.” So he went and lay down.
6 Again the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”
“My son,” Eli said, “I did not call; go back and lie down.”
7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD: The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.
8 A third time the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.”
Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place.
10 The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”
Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
11 And the LORD said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears about it tingle. 12 At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. 13 For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons blasphemed God,[a] and he failed to restrain them. 14 Therefore I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’”
15 Samuel lay down until morning and then opened the doors of the house of the LORD. He was afraid to tell Eli the vision, 16 but Eli called him and said, “Samuel, my son.”
Samuel answered, “Here I am.”
17 “What was it he said to you?” Eli asked. “Do not hide it from me. May God deal with you, be it ever so severely, if you hide from me anything he told you.” 18 So Samuel told him everything, hiding nothing from him. Then Eli said, “He is the LORD; let him do what is good in his eyes.”
19 The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of Samuel’s words fall to the ground. 20 And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba recognized that Samuel was attested as a prophet of the LORD. 21 The LORD continued to appear at Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word.
Sometimes small songs have a big story behind them... :)
ReplyDeleteWow. I never knew this. And I feel really bad for being so behind in my reading. But thank you for sharing it. I loved the song... and I love the meaning. Thank you, also, for the song about us. :) That's very special. I love you.
ReplyDelete