Stand

I woke up this morning, and I looked outside.
There stood Goliath with ten thousand men, and I wanted to hide.
I said I wanted to hide.

And as I stared out that window, the rain started to pour;
The wind blew the branches all around, but I didn't fear 'cause I'm Yours

And I'm going to stand on this Rock though the mighty winds blow
I'm going to stand on this Rock all through the storm
I'm going to stand.

Sometimes I feel so ashamed, and I just want to cry
But your mighty workmen are not to be ashamed, so I won't hide!

No, I'm going to stand on this Rock though the giants surround.
I'm going to stand on this Rock, and I'm not coming down!

(On Christ the solid Rock I stand
all other ground is sinking sand,
all other ground is sinking sand...)

So I'm going to stand on this Rock though the mighty winds blow
I'm going to stand on this Rock all through the storm
No, I'm going to stand on this Rock though the giants surround.
I'm going to stand on this Rock, and I'm not coming down!

I'm going to stand!
Lord, won't You help me to stand?
I'm going to stand!


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I wrote this song when Matt was in Longview at TECH doing an internship, and I was in Elgin, waiting to marry him.  :)  I literally woke up one morning feeling like there was too much for me to do: preparing the wedding, finding an apartment, finding a job, etc.  It felt like Goliath and his men were waiting outside.  I remember looking outside and the sun was shining so bright, but I thought, "It might as well be pouring."  I decided right that moment that I was not going to let myself talk my body into crawling back under the sheets and hiding, and I figured I might need a song to get myself out of bed that morning.

So I wrote this one.  This is from the late spring of '07.  Whenever I feel overwhelmed I hum it, or play it if an instrument is available.  I've even heard Matt sing it before.  It's definitely one to get you out of bed!

You Take and You Give

Empty pockets of time
sitting, waiting for a sign
Any answer at all
or did You not hear me call?

Paper cuts, lemon juice
I thought I would hear from You
I stood waiting, thought You'd show
but I s'pose I don't know

And I'm still here waiting for You

I know You take and You give
that phrase repeats as I live
I stood waiting, thought You'd show
but I s'pose I don't know

And I'm still here waiting for You

Forgot the sound of Your voice
Or am I not listening by choice?
Were you waiting for me
to drop my will and just be?

I hope You're still here waiting for me
I hope You're still here waiting for me
Yes, You are here waiting for me!

Holy Lord, most Holy Lord,
You're good to me, good to me.
Holy Lord, most Holy Lord,
You're good to me, always good to me.

I know You take and You give
that phrase repeats as I live.


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I wrote this song February '08, right after we lost our first baby.  It is a fairly whiny song, and I wrote all the way up to the last "And I'm still here waiting for You" line.  After my pain faded, I added the part about God being there the whole time, and I was the fool who didn't notice because I was just standing around and begging for what I wanted. 

But it was the following year when I wrote the layers of melodies that go with the lines "Holy Lord, most Holy Lord, You're good to me..."  I wrote that right after our second miscarriage.  I wrote that with the knowledge that God is good all of the time, and that his plans are not to destroy me with pain, but to help me become more like Him.  There are two melodies for those lines, and they continue repeatedly before the last line is added as a third melody---- the melody from the verse from where it came.

I sit down to play it when I feel like whining, because it always brings me back to turning away from myself to who God is...

And that's where I should stay focused!

Closer to You

Everyday I have a choice to make
Will I remember that all I do is for Your sake?
Help me deny my flesh, so every step I take
will bring me closer to you.

Why do I hold onto obstacles that only stand in my way
when You're trying to clear them, so my path remains straight?
Hold my hands open, Lord, when I continue to cling.
I want to be sure I take control of nothing.

I lose focus: You lose a vessel.
I look for purpose: You say I had one.
I fight for my way: You discipline.
It builds character--- and You helped me build a lot of character.

Everyday I have a choice to make

Will I remember that all I do is for Your sake?

Help me deny my flesh, so every step I take

will bring me closer to you.